My children were getting at the age where they were hitting young adulthood.
My son and daughter had a lot of activities going on near the end of their high school days.
The reason why I started to move away from my blog is that I wanted to treasure their moments.
My children are around a year and a half apart in age.
Time just kind of went by. It seems like a distant memory when they were children.
Times were changing.
The holidays were not the same.
I guess you can say we were all going through a transitional period.
What Did The Transition Period Felt Like For Me
I want to start by saying that I feel blessed to have two wonderful children.
After my son graduated high school, a sense of sadness started. Not to mention, my sister passed away in the same year to cancer.
I’m the type of person that can pretty much cope even though there are times in my life where I go through good and bad times.
Once that sadness took over me, it wasn’t the same type of blues you normally get from time to time.
I Decided To Research What I was Feeling
I didn’t like the way I was feeling so what I did was research. My symptoms seemed similar to Empty Nest Syndrome.
- A loss of purpose and meaning in life
I could relate because Mom’s traditionally are the ones that raise children.
I don’t know if that is what I was going through since my children still live at home, but I could totally relate to what I was reading.
You have to understand that each household is unique.
People raise their children differently.
Mind you, my son is autistic, and more than likely when I get to the point where I can’t take care of him any longer, I will have to find a home for him.
I know that I just lost my sister, but I guess you can say a transitioning phase was happening to me all at once.
My age, my kids are grown and the loss of my sister, God bless her soul.
I Am Mom
I’ve always identified myself as Mom first. I volunteered at my children’s schools when they were in elementary school.
I helped my children with their homework, enjoyed entertainment times, communicate, and fuss over them all the time.
I Noticed That My Children Didn’t Need Me As Much
Okay, when I started my blog, I thought I didn’t have enough time because my kids needed me a lot, especially my son. So, whenever they needed mommy, I tend to them, and then I would work on my blog at very odd hours.
I didn’t mind the lack of sleep I was getting because I enjoyed doing something for me and not focusing all my attention on my children.
The odd part is, once I had more time, I just felt lost. I’m used to having to work around my children’s schedule and now my schedule seems more open than ever.
I still have to tend to my son, but most of the time he wants to be left alone. When I would go to his room to see how he is doing, he tells me to close the door.
Being that my son is autistic, we have a different way of communicating. When he says to close the door, in other words, he’s telling me to, get out mom, I’m fine.
As for my daughter, she has her life. She’s in college and is busy doing her thing.
Instead Of Working More On My Blog, I Did Other Things
Besides just laying down and watching TV when I should be posting, my daughter wanted to trade rooms with her brother.
She liked where his room was located and I agreed. We started to paint because my son’s room was blue and my daughter’s room was pink. I picked a more traditional color because once my daughter moves out I need a mom cave, Lol.
My daughter was looking at colleges and wanted to do more school activities. It felt like time was passing by so quickly and my “mom” role was changing so I personally made plans with my children.
I made plans because I was a young adult at one time in my life. It’s a time where you kind of focus more on you. Yeah, you want mom’s help at times but, you are growing into your own and I knew I was going to have to respect their spaces.
So, I guess I was grasping for time especially with my daughter. There were times where we would go to the movies, go shopping, go out to eat, and just hang out. I just wanted them to know that you could have fun with mom too.
I don’t know what I will do when my daughter leaves the nest. I’m not going to hold her back, but I know it’s going to be another adjustment that I will face.
My Sister Was A Reminder Of How Precious Time Is
Being a mother is the most precious gift given to me. Despite those attitude days and the behavior phase that my son had, it is a pleasure to be their mom.
With my sister passing so suddenly, I say this all the time and that is we are not promised tomorrow.
One day my sister and I were out shopping and it felt like the next day she passed. It all happened so fast.
I also grieved her loss and stepping away from my blog to just treasure moments was priceless to me.
My hope is to build another type of relationship with both of my children in their adult life.
I’m At The Beginning Stages Of Getting Back To My Blog
I don’t know if anyone out there understands. Everything is easier said than done. At this point, I started a new schedule. It can be rough in the beginning because of my lack of focus on my blog for a long time.
What I did was look back at my posting schedule and it was all over the place. I noticed that I would go weeks without posting a single blog.
Just so you know, I never really abandon my blog, it was just that it’s always been a part-time thing for me.
I love the fact that I can work at it when I want especially because I have an autistic son. He mainly is the reason why I wanted to work from home in the first place.
Not only did I need to be at home, but to be able to stop what I’m doing to help both of my children was just everything.
Now that I don’t have to stop as much, I guess I was stopping myself because I was used to my kids stopping me all the time, Lol.
So I made adjustments. At this point, I’m getting used to my new adjustments.
What Made Me Put This Out There In The Online World
Why not, I thought! I’m a person and as a person, we go through stuff in life. I’m not ashamed. It may be trivial to some people whereas other people may feel me.
I’m very grateful to have found something that I enjoy doing completely from home. It’s just that transitioning into a different phase in life is hard.
We as people go through stuff. People sure like to throw out glitz and glam all the time in the online world.
What people don’t express is what they feel is real. It is okay to go through stuff. It’s okay that momentum lacks for a season.
I’m okay with that, it becomes a problem when you stay in that funk. Time changes; that is a given fact. Time doesn’t stop for anyone; that is a given fact. It is up to me to change; that is a given fact.
All In All
Life is life. We go through stuff. Being able to see my children grow and become an adult is a blessing.
I’ve been through different phases in my life. Sometimes we have to put aside or should I say step away from other things for a season.
Each day little by little we are going through a transitioning phase. Sometimes it’s great and sometimes it’s not so great, in the end, it’s all good!
What is your take about moving away from anything special to you, Tweet me @evelynbaz!